Weddings and Marriage
I picked up a copy of a magazine I usually read and it was the “Wedding” issue. Anyone who knows me very well knows I lack the gene that drives women to drool over gowns, rings, and bouquets. My eyes start to glaze over and I usually end up heading over to where the guys are because games, guns, politics, ANYTHING, is of more interest to me than what color the sashes and shoes were. Don’t get me wrong despite my gun-tottin’ board breaking ways I can be very feminine. I am a loving wife and mother. I like to cook, and organize, and do crafts, and otherwise make my house into a cozy home where those in it feel loved and cherished.
It’s not that I don’t think highly of marriage. On the contrary I think Marriage is wonderful and good. I’ve been married for almost seventeen years to my best friend. Not only are we just as head over heels in love as we were seventeen years ago, but it’s strengthened with the wisdom and experience that come with time and overcoming hardships. Being married and sharing my life with the handsome and wonderful man I fell in love with was what was important to me. The wedding was just the first step towards that life together. To me it was something to get over with so the more important parts of my life could start…not the culmination of all my hopes and dreams of my life to that point.
It’s the whole Wedding thing that gets to me. The time waiting. The expense. The fights. The parties. The foods. The give me gifts. The have to make everyone happy. The mothers. The can’t forget to invite so and so. The importance put upon the material items of the day. The perfect day for the bride. What about what the groom wants and needs? Is it a wedding of two people joining their lives together or just another party for her? It’s all about pleasing the bride and making her day as close to some fantasy she has had since she was 5 yeas old.
Perhaps my jaded view comes from time and again seeing so much blood, sweat, and tears go into a beautiful wedding ceremony and day…only to have the marriage fall apart before they even finished paying for their “perfect day.” If they had put half the time, money, and thought into building the life that comes after the vows and party are over maybe they would still be married…
Maybe at the end of the day it all just comes down to the clothing. I wouldn’t be caught dead in pink or pastels. White makes me look yellowish. Strapless gowns make me look extremely top heavy. Sequins add bulk. Silk is expensive. Formal Wear is restrictive, uncomfortable, and makes carrying a gun difficult.
Nope, I’m not big on weddings. Marriages I love. Just for the record we got married just two weeks after we got engaged. We were married wearing jeans and T-Shirts, in a courthouse, by the Justice of the Peace. Quick. Simple. No stress. Inexpensive. Easy. No need for frills or extras. Just us and anyone that wanted to show up. We started off our lives happy with each other and without a big debt hanging over our heads for a day we both remember fondly.