JaeByrd’s Nest

Okay, I am sure there are a few responsible parents and kids out there with those wheeled shoes that use them in a safe manner, I even know a couple of them, but honestly what is up with the rest of the parents and kids?

I saw enough on the health and safety issues concerning them to want to by pass them all together. If I want my kid to skate around I’ll get him a skateboard, scooter, or skates and make sure he does it while wearing a helmet and safety pads. If you want to gamble on your child’s ability to stay safe while wearing these things that is your business, but not when their usage is a safety issue for others.

Why do you think it is okay for your kids to “skate” around the stores and malls with these things? Granted they are banned a lot of places, but that doesn’t seem to stop anyone. You wouldn’t let your kids ride their bike, scooter, skateboard, Rollerblades/rollarskates in the store what makes you think Heelys are okay? You see your kid barely missing people and yet you do NOTHING!

I’m constantly dodging these little punks and brats everywhere I go. I saw at least 4 going up and down the isles in maybe 40 minutes of shopping. And those are just the ones that I dodged. Parents right behind them oblivious of the accident waiting to happen that is their child on wheels.

Every time I see a kid go skating past me I want to stick out my leg and trip them. I really do. Then I want to go over and slap their parent on the head. If you’re going to be in a crowded place make them pop the wheels out and give it to you at the least. If you can’t take responsibility for your own child’s behavior and usage of them then DON’T buy them for them!

Be the parent: Take responsibility, teach them courtesy, or make a stand.

Found an interesting article on DrLaura.com today while looking for something else:
Nine Things to Consider Before you Decide to be a Parent

“Do you realize that most people become parents without thoroughly discussing how each was raised and how you intend/fantasize/desire to raise your child? |
They just assume, “It’ll work once the kid is here.”

I find this to be so true.

 Most don’t consider or talk about what roles they want to fill, or assume the other will fill, in parenting. How they will parent. If they SHOULD or even CAN parent. I find myself amazed when all of a sudden something about religion or discipline comes up and parents are left there thinking… “Wow. I had no idea we were on opposite sides of the spectrum. What now?”

Most seem to just have some vague idea, based off popular consensus, of what they might do and figure it will iron itself out later. If your standards and morals are at all important to you, and therefore passing that on to your child, I would think you’d consider and talk about that BEFORE bringing that child into the world…

Better yet, when choosing your future mate.

I see babies raising babies, while friends are waiting in adoption lines, and it bothers me. Do these kids even think about the long term? What is best for the baby?

Having and raising a baby isn’t something to be taken lightly. It is physically, emotionally, and financially draining. It ain’t easy. It is not all cute cuddly fun. And it doesn’t come cheap.

Financially: How Much Does it Cost to Have a Baby? On average around $9000-$11,000. For the first YEAR.  Life in the Fast Lane Breaks it down a little more on an item by item basis. That is just the first year. You’ve got at least another 17 after that.

No more trips. No more designer clothing. No more a lot of things. You brought a life into the world you need to take care of that life before what makes YOU happy. Oh, I’ll just work to offset the cost? Quality Day Care will cost you almost as much as you make. If you’re very young, probably more. So all of that on Dad’s income flipping burgers?

Emotionally: Are you really prepared for getting up all night, changing diapers all the time, not having time to hang out with friends or at parties because you need to take care of your baby? For crying jags that last for hours? For putting aside your wants and even some needs for the sake of what the baby needs?

Physically: That body is going for a ride. You will never be the same as you once were. Those first few months are draining. Sleep deprivation is quite normal. Yet, you have responsibilities as a parent and that comes before just sleeping like you want to.

Are you really prepared for that? Are you willing to give up what you want for what is best for the baby? Are you expecting/assuming the grandparents are going to shoulder the burden? They already did their responsibility and raised their kids. Now you want them to take on YOUR responsibilities? Think about it…

Having a baby can be a wonderful, rewarding, joyful, blessing. When brought into a mature, loving, committed, stable, 2 parent Marriage. One that is willing and able to make the sacrifices needed to raise a healthy contributing member of society. Is that what you’re giving your child?

Parenting Lessons Don’t Stop Toddler Tantrums

They compared a group of mothers and children that went through a “Parent training programme” with a group that didn’t. At the end of 2 years:

“….  there was no significant difference in the level of behaviour problems in the children, or in the mental health of the mothers.”

I think that just about says it all.

In light of recent news about animal-human embryo research and
Britain Destroys More Than 1 Million ‘Excess’ Embryos

I thought I’d share this story/excerpt from a book I just heard about:
What Is at Stake in the Embryo Experimentation Debate

There are families willing and waiting to give these little lives a womb to grow in. A home and family to welcome them with loving arms. That loves them before they are pregnant or give birth to them.

These are just a few links with more information:
http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm
http://www.embryoadoption.org/
http://www.embryodonation.org/

An Embryo is a life waiting to be born, not just a Blob of matter.

I like our dog. I really like our dog. He is a part of the family, but he is not a person. He does not hold equal status with a human being.

Here is an interesting article about the differences between kids and pets: Kids Are Not Like Pets

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/09/mean.mom.ap/index.html 
Meanest Mom on Planet Sells Son’s Car.

I love it! Rules are rules. He only had two: Keep it locked and no booze. No booze means just that. Be it yours or others. You just get the car at Thanksgiving and you can’t even keep the rules for 3 whole months?

When you break the rules you suffer the consequences. If more parents actually stuck to their guns and had a little school of hard knocks training going on maybe the youth of today wouldn’t be such a mess.

Kudos to the parents.

We were going out to dinner the other night and saw a group of young women wearing shirts that said: Love, Luck, Health & Wealth. They were having a bridal shower. Never mind the irony of Health handing Luck a cigarette. It got me to thinking…This is what marriage is about these days? It is no wonder we have a divorce rate as high as we do.

Love? Love is a feeling that is largely dictated by your actions. Lust is what most people these days mean when they say “We’re in Love.” Where is the commitment? To making it work even when you’re having one of those not so loving seasons? It reminds me of someone I knew who vowed “So long as we both shall Love.” When they weren’t feeling it anymore they stopped being married and moved on to the next Love…

Luck? I’ve never liked the word luck because it implies things just happen. I’ve been told so often how lucky I am to have a well behaved child. To have a good husband. So on and so forth on so many things. Yes, I have been blessed by God with a wonderful son and husband. I don’t consider that luck. God was gracious in his providing and plan.  But it has also taken WORK. I am blessed with my son for the miracle he is. The good behavior doesn’t just happen. It comes from consistency, from both of us, in teaching good manners.  I was blessed with finding  a man of good character whom I married and he makes a wonderful husband. Together we work on having a good marriage. Luck is for rolling the dice in board games not in choosing a mate, making a marriage work, or the behavior of a child.

Health? I suppose I can see wishing someone good health, but it is “In Sickness and in Health” that we take a spouse for. We want to be healthy. Which takes work. What we eat and how we spend our time has an effect on our health.  Sometimes you learn and bond more through the times of Sickness than of Health. In addition Sickness can often be a way of showing how God works miracles in our lives.  

Wealth? I’m sure most of us could use a bit more $ to get by… but Wealth? I’ve seen the rich. I don’t want that. Shelter, food, clothing, are meeting needs. Wealth is something else altogether. But you know, meeting your needs and being good stewards with what you are given is also work and again not just something that happens to you. Getting to a good place financially takes discipline, WORK, perseverance, and denying yourself. You might not like your job, but you have to work to keep the lights on, food on the table, a roof over your head and shoes on your feet. Unless you have a rich relative Wealth is not something that generally just happens.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is things don’t just happen you have to Work to make them Happen. Marriage is NOT something to be entered into lightly thinking things will be all roses and warm fluffy clouds. In Love, Luck, Health & Wealth there are aspects of your own personal work and sacrifice that goes into making it Good.

I’ll leave you with what I always tell any couple that is getting married:

Ralph Waldo Emerson in a journal entry writes:

Love is temporary and ends with marriage. Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought. Marriage is a good known only to the parties, — a relation of perfect understanding, aid, contentment, possession of themselves and of the world, — which dwarfs love to green fruit.

They never understand it and say, “Haha love ends at marriage.” but to the few who work, and grow, and ripen to the point where they get it they understand that Marriage is so much more and better than mere Love…

I read a lot of magazines. The articles are perfect for short or long waits. Something I can pick up and put down and continue on with my day. Recently I read an article about homeschooling a large family. Ordinarily I would have skipped it as having an only child I glean very little from such articles. I don’t need to know how to keep the baby/toddler/pre-schooler busy while working with the kindergarten/first grader/older children. I have only the one to worry about.

 For whatever reason I started reading it and found it quite good. She talked about finding peace as a homeschooling mother, making things work, and being happy and thankful no matter your family size. Whether that be 1 or 10 children. She went on to acknowledge women she knew who have 1 child and would love to have more, but for whatever reason have not been blessed in that way. I thought wow, this is actually good stuff that applies to all homeschoolers.

She then spent the next page and half after that listing all the blessings and advantages of homeschooling and having a larger than usual family. That wouldn’t have been bad had she also included the other side, but she didn’t. So, here are just a few things that come to mind regarding homeschooling as well as family life with an only:

• Undivided attention 
• More parent child time
• Generally speaking more finances for textbooks, travel, or activities
• As well as more time for activities
• Less chance for burnout when only divided by one
• Only 1 child to worry about when on a field trip
• No sibling rivalry or disagreements
• No comparisons of who did/does it better
• Knowing who broke the vase/ate that/or left that laying there

Those are just a few things off the top of my head. I’m not saying having an only child isn’t without its cons, but it does also have its pros. I wouldn’t have made the choice on my own, but since things are what they are I find what peace I can in it. I make it work. I am thankful for  having an only child and the advantages and blessings that come with that.

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Be smart. Be safe. Be thankful for the simple little things in life.

Mele Kalikimaka!