Rebekah Staggs » Reviews

Courageous

admin — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:01:48 +0000

Courageous came out this weekend and many in the infertile world won’t be going to see it because they aren’t parents and it doesn’t apply to them. Saying that “Courageous” is only about Fatherhood is like saying “Facing the Giants” is only about Football. Or that “Faith like Potatoes” is only about growing Potatoes. Fatherhood is simply the basis they use to weave a story of faith, grief, loss, loving God even when you don’t understand your circumstances, relationships, doing the right thing, being an example, making right the wrongs you have done, forgiveness, fathering the fatherless, and being a good husband and father.

Another thing that spoke to me from an infertilty view was the counseling scene while dealing with grief and the loss of of a child. The counselor spoke words that apply to the infertile, or those that have lost a child at any stage, not just a grieving father.

To me the movie wasn’t just about stepping up as a father, but as a man. There is so much more to glean from this movie than just a call to be “Courageous” Fathers, but to be men of God. Anyone watching this could identify with moments in it. Be it trusting God in financial dificulties or making peace with family or a past. Or doing the right thing even when it’s a hard choice to make.

To dismiss this movie as something not to watch because you aren’t a parent is to miss out on so many of the aspects in the movie that aren’t only about fatherhood. Yes, these things are woven in and out of the lives of the fathers in the movie, but it goes so far beyond just Fatherhood and integretes these things into daily life. It’s calling men to be courageous not just in the aspect of thier lives that is fatherhood, but in ALL aspects of thier lives. To show Courage as men of God. It’s not just about Fatherhood.

When life gives you lemons…make Orange Chicken?

admin — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 17:12:45 +0000

Okay so life hasn’t really handed me lemons, but it sounded good. I wasn’t feeling up to making the Sweet Sour Chicken I had planned for today so I gave in and decided to make something quick and easy from the freezer. Or rather, direct someone else to make it.

P.F. Chang’s Home Menu Meals for 2: Orange Chicken + Ajinamoto: Chow Mein.

12 minutes in a pan warms up the chicken, veggies, and sauce cubes
+ 3 minutes in the microwave warms up a double serving of noodles and veggies.
= 12 minutes for a full lunch on the table

It wasn’t bad for a quick frozen meal. Better than most. Flavor on the chicken was good and we rather like the chow mein noodles.

Calorie Count?
300 calories for 1/3 of the bag of Chicken
+ 230 calories for 1/2 a bag of Noodles
= 530 Calories

Cost to feed the three of us?
$5.00 for Chicken
+ $2.50 for Noodles
= $7.50

Letting someone else cook, while keeping a somewhat decent calorie count, without leaving the house? Priceless!

You Complete Me…Bologna!

admin — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 13:09:07 +0000

When I first heard that line during the movie, like everyone else, I thought how sweet. As it became an overused phrase bandied about by immature and shallow individuals I started to really think about it. It’s Bologna! Looking for another human being to complete us idolizes a relationship and tries to fill a void only God can fill. Only God can complete us.

Expecting another person to fill an emptiness in your life is an unrealistic expectation. It places a burden on the other person to hold a position that is not humanly possible to maintain. Being a complete person is about having God in your life, not your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to make you feel whole and validated.

In addition this idea that we need another person to complete us is a slap in the face to all Single Christians! In 1 Corinthians Pauls talks a lot about marriage and the good therein, but he also says:

1 Corinthians 7:32-33 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

Paul himself was obviously not an incomplete person because he lacked a woman in his life. Neither is any other person who remains single through life, or after a divorce, an incomplete person.

But, what about being one flesh isn’t that completing each other?

Genesis 2:23-24 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

My husband and I are one flesh. We compliment each other and are flip sides of the same coin Together we make a whole that is more than the individual, but we don’t complete the other.

We honor each other.
We respect each other.
We support each other.
We encourage each other.
We stand by each other.
We give ourselves to the other with our whole heart, love in action, and body.
We each become a complete individual through our relationship with God.

Only by being two complete and whole individuals looking to God, and not another human being, to fulfill us and give us validation in our lives can we enter into a healthy marriage relationship. As a human being we might let each other down, but God never will. Only God can truely complete us, not another person.

Don’t be a Jerry McGuire! Seek God, not another person to fulfill you. Don’t try to make your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse Jesus in your life. Let Jesus fill the hole inside of you and fill each other with the overspill from your relationship with Him.

Julie & Julia a Review

admin — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 23:03:23 +0000

I admit I was reluctant to watch this movie. I was warned there was an infertility theme so I stuck it in on the bottom of my queue and didn’t think about it until it finally came in the mail. I am not really much of a “chick flick” kinda gal, but I am a foodie so I thought I’d give it a try once it came in. I had ignored posts or blogs about the movie until after I watched it so as not to color my view of watching it.

Overall it was an enjoyable movie. The food and the cooking were fun. Meryl Streep portrays Julia to a T! I also liked how they portrayed the relationship between Julia Childs and her husband. You don’t see a lot of loving, supportive, and obviously still sensual relationships between married couples on the screen these days. Much less an older couple that has been married for a lot of years. I found Julie to be a bit much at times, but her husband came across as overly supportive and understanding.

As for the infertility theme I totally missed the first scene where they reference infertility. Apparently they are sitting on a bench in the park and there is a wistful look of longing at a baby stroller? I remember them on the bench, but must have blinked and missed the look or something.

In the other scene it has been maybe 15 years or more since Julia got married. Her sister (in her late thirties/early forties?) gets married and as a newlywed writes to tell Julia she is pregnant. Julia has a moment of shock. Starts sobbing while saying, “I’m so happy.” Her husband looks at her and pulls her into his arms. End of scene. It took maybe a minute for the whole thing to play out with very little dialogue. What amazes me is the wealth of difference everyone seems to read into this scene.

Just some of the things I found that people said about the scene:
It was a tense family situation where Julia is sad for herself because she can’t have children.
She is envious and bitter about her sister’s pregnancy.
The people in the movie theater laughed during the scene.
It had all the complex and conflicting emotions someone feels when a loved one has what you won’t.
Resentment, joy, grief, resignation quickly played out in that brief scene.

The one thing I found was that you could tell a lot about the writer by what they saw in that moment. Each wrote what their own feelings would be in the same situation. Those who have never been touched by infertility saw a bitter woman who really wasn’t happy for her sister. Or who maybe was happy, but overcome by her own inability and loss.

Those in the midst of their own struggles saw what they deal with on a daily basis. The happy joy for a loved one co-mingled with the brief moments of ugly that come at first and then you fight back down with the better part of your nature.

Those nearer the end of their journey, and closer to peace, saw the reminder of things past or lost mixed in with the joy and happiness for a loved one.

Of her own infertility, from Julia’s book, ”My Life in France.” (Which I have not read, but found some excepts from.) She writes,

“We had tried. But for some reason our efforts didn’t take. It was sad, but we didn’t spend too much time thinking about it and never considered adoption. It was just one of those things. We were living very full lives.”

I wonder if she really considered it “just one of those things” at the time she was going through it? Or, if this is just how she views it looking back 50 years after the fact? Either way I think the infertile world can find comfort in the words of a 90 year old woman who never had children. Who led a full life. Who had a loving marriage. And at the end of it all infertility was just one of those things in her life. I, for one, find comfort in that.

I’ll close with something I read recently (It had nothing to do with babies or infertility.) that really summed it up for me. That Place of Peace and Acceptance we all as infertiles strive for and beat down the ugly parts of our natures to get to:

It said a great deal for her that she watched him without an excess of envy. Yearning, yes, and maybe a little sadness.

Not only is it a long journey, no matter what you strive for, to get to the point of sadness and yearning without bitterness and envy. But, it takes someone who has also walked a difficult path to recognize the difference between the two.

College

admin — Sun, 11 May 2008 04:19:23 +0000

My husband just wrote a great article I just had to share.

College: Who needs it?

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. – Mark Twain

Every man should have a college education in order to show him how little the thing is really worth. – Ralph Waldo Emerson