We were going out to dinner the other night and saw a group of young women wearing shirts that said: Love, Luck, Health & Wealth. They were having a bridal shower. Never mind the irony of Health handing Luck a cigarette. It got me to thinking…This is what marriage is about these days? It is no wonder we have a divorce rate as high as we do.
Love? Love is a feeling that is largely dictated by your actions. Lust is what most people these days mean when they say “We’re in Love.” Where is the commitment? To making it work even when you’re having one of those not so loving seasons? It reminds me of someone I knew who vowed “So long as we both shall Love.” When they weren’t feeling it anymore they stopped being married and moved on to the next Love…
Luck? I’ve never liked the word luck because it implies things just happen. I’ve been told so often how lucky I am to have a well behaved child. To have a good husband. So on and so forth on so many things. Yes, I have been blessed by God with a wonderful son and husband. I don’t consider that luck. God was gracious in his providing and plan. But it has also taken WORK. I am blessed with my son for the miracle he is. The good behavior doesn’t just happen. It comes from consistency, from both of us, in teaching good manners. I was blessed with finding a man of good character whom I married and he makes a wonderful husband. Together we work on having a good marriage. Luck is for rolling the dice in board games not in choosing a mate, making a marriage work, or the behavior of a child.
Health? I suppose I can see wishing someone good health, but it is “In Sickness and in Health” that we take a spouse for. We want to be healthy. Which takes work. What we eat and how we spend our time has an effect on our health. Sometimes you learn and bond more through the times of Sickness than of Health. In addition Sickness can often be a way of showing how God works miracles in our lives.
Wealth? I’m sure most of us could use a bit more $ to get by… but Wealth? I’ve seen the rich. I don’t want that. Shelter, food, clothing, are meeting needs. Wealth is something else altogether. But you know, meeting your needs and being good stewards with what you are given is also work and again not just something that happens to you. Getting to a good place financially takes discipline, WORK, perseverance, and denying yourself. You might not like your job, but you have to work to keep the lights on, food on the table, a roof over your head and shoes on your feet. Unless you have a rich relative Wealth is not something that generally just happens.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is things don’t just happen you have to Work to make them Happen. Marriage is NOT something to be entered into lightly thinking things will be all roses and warm fluffy clouds. In Love, Luck, Health & Wealth there are aspects of your own personal work and sacrifice that goes into making it Good.
I’ll leave you with what I always tell any couple that is getting married:
Ralph Waldo Emerson in a journal entry writes:
Love is temporary and ends with marriage. Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought. Marriage is a good known only to the parties, — a relation of perfect understanding, aid, contentment, possession of themselves and of the world, — which dwarfs love to green fruit.
They never understand it and say, “Haha love ends at marriage.” but to the few who work, and grow, and ripen to the point where they get it they understand that Marriage is so much more and better than mere Love…
