Archive for the ‘Household’ Category
Thursday, February 19th, 2009
You know when I mention that my husband works from home I’ve had comments ranging from, “That must be so nice to have him around all the time.” to (usually from young wives just starting down the road of a work at home husband) ”How do you stand having him around all the time?”
It wasn’t always easy. When we switched from part time “day job” and part time home business, to full time home business I’ll admit it had some moments. A few tips I’ve learned over the years that have made things easier.
Home, but not really home:
It is a hard adjustment to make the switch to working from home. When a husband works at an outside office and comes home he is home and hopefully work is left at work. When he works from home he *IS* home all the time, but he is working a big portion of it. So while I can ask for help if I really need it, the idea is to act during the day as if he is off at a job. Because, he *IS* at his job. This helps *HIM* to make the mental switch that he is working, even though he is home. Sometimes the switch between work is done and I’m home now gets a little blended, but that happens with a lot of outside jobs as well.
When the muse strikes:
Being married to a programmer is a little like I’d imagine being married to an artist would be like. When the muse strikes and they are in the zone GET OUT OF THE WAY! I’ve spoken with several other wives (Husbands in the same business) and I think it must be something in the hard wiring of our men. Maybe it is part of what makes them good programmers. Whatever it is when they are working on a problem it is best to just let them take care of it. After a frenzy of programming usually comes some quiet relaxing time. Sometimes food, drink (coffee/caffeine seems to be a driving force behind a lot of coding.), and the occasional reminder of other responsibilities is in order… otherwise it is best to just let the streak run it’s course.
Organization:
Yes, I’m big on organization. I am a homemaker, we run a home business and my husband works from home all day, and we home-school. That is a lot of time for all of us to be at home. Keeping things orderly and running well makes for better use of time and less stress. It is difficult to get work done if you are living in chaos and have a long list of things that are nagging at your mind.
A day out:
Never underestimate the power of a day out. Being homebodies is a good thing. Too much of a good thing is sometimes not a good thing. Make good use of a day outside of the house. Take yourself/pack up the kids and leave the house for most of the day. Go watch a movie, walk the mall, go to a park, go to the zoo, go somewhere and do something. This makes for a good day for work in an empty house or even just enjoying the house with peace and quiet. And of course sometimes switching places can be nice for HIM to get out and clear his mind.
The perk of single-minded programmer types:
When they switch from coding to courting it can be quite nice to have all that single minded attention roll back to you. 
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2009
Or a more eloquent way of saying the same thing:
Wives should manifest such a character as to be worthy of love. They
owe this to their husbands. They demand the confidence and affection of man;
and they should show that they are worthy of that confidence and affection.
It is not possible to love that which is unlovely, nor to force affection where it is
undeserved; and, as a wife expects that a husband will love her more than he
does any other earthly being, it is but right that she should evince such a spirit as
shall make that proper.
A wife may easily alienate the affections of her partner
in life. If she is irritable and fault-finding; if none of his ways please her; if she
takes no interest in his plans, and in what he does; if she forsakes her home
when she should be there, and seeks happiness abroad; or, if at home, she never
greets him with a smile; if she is wasteful of his earnings, and extravagant in her
habits, it will be impossible to prevent the effects of such a course of life on his
mind.
And when a wife perceives the slightest evidence of alienated affection in
her husband, she should inquire at once whether she has not given occasion for
it, and exhibited such a spirit as tended inevitably to produce such a result.
- Barnes
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Monday, January 5th, 2009
1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man
We are the GLORY of our husbands. All that we are, do, and say reflects upon them. Think about that for a moment. Forget about making sure he is doing his “job” he has his own glory to reflect. Worry about your own job. How is your husband’s glory looking?
Pr 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Pr 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
Pr 9:13 A foolish woman [is] clamorous: [she is] simple, and knoweth nothing.
Pr 11:22 [As] a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, [so is] a fair woman which is without discretion.
Pr 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Pr 19:13 A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.
Pr 21:9 [It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Pr 21:19 [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
We have the power to make him ashamed. We have the power to tear down our homes. We can be foolish, clamorous, loud, simple, knowing nothing, and without discretion. Causing our husbands to want to live in a corner of housetop, or in the wilderness, rather than with us.
How many men do you know that do just that to get away from their nagging wife? How many women do you know that are contentious and a continual dropping that you’d love to get away from?
Proverbs 31:10-12 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:26-28 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Or we can be a crown to him. We can build up our homes. We can be a prudent wife from the LORD. A Proverbs 31 Woman. A virtuous woman worth more than rubies. One who has the trust of her husband’s heart. Who will do him good and not evil all her days. One who speaks with wisdom and kindness. Who looks to her own house. One with children that call her blessed. One who’s husband calls her blessed and praises her!
How many men do you know that do that? How many women do you know that are worthy of that?
How can we bring glory to our husbands?
Conversation: What we say about and in front of our husbands counts. Praise him to your friends. Don’t put him down and reveal his faults. Don’t slander him, even if it is true. Do and say things that build him up instead of tearing him down and putting a wedge between the two of you. Make your commitment to him and the marriage covenant obvious.
Organize: Your home, your time, your life. When you are organized about your home, meals, and lifestyle you waste less time in accomplishing goals. Spend your time wisely. Are you doing things that glorify your husband? Do they take time away from him? How does he feel about them? As you fulfill your responsibilities your husband is free to fill his. Give yourself the time and ability to save some energy just for him. Pray for him. Encourage him. Put him first! Yes, over your children, extended family, work, Ladies Bible Study and other obligations. Make your commitment to him and the marriage covenant obvious.
Discretion: When your husband sins, again don’t take it to your friends, tell him privately. In a submissive and gentle way. Don’t hold on to it only to pull it out again later and bash him over the head with it every time you disagree. Don’t air his laundry for all the world. Make your commitment to him and the marriage covenant obvious.
Remember just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, out husbands are glorified when we obey them…
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Saturday, December 6th, 2008
The phrase “The glory of” has caught my attention lately and got me to thinking.
1. In the end all things pass through man to bring glory to God.
2. We don’t have a lot of control over growing our own glory.
Proverbs 17:6 Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
Children are born into the glory of their father’s reputation. Granted this isn’t that big of a deal these days with unwed/single mothers and all, but this used to mean something. That is why so many surnames mean “Son of” some progenitor’s name or what he did.
Proverbs 20:29 The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head.
This one is interesting because you can do a lot to build your strength, but there are things that can steal that strength away from you. In the end that strength fades as we age.
Psalms 19:1 To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
There are a lot of verses talking about the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man
Man is just one of them and woman is the glory of man. What awesome responsibilities this image represents.
1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
Our glory is our long hair.
And our glory is in our long hair…
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Monday, October 27th, 2008
We recently took a plane trip. Our son finally outgrew the booster car seat requirements so we’re traveling without having to bring along a car seat or rent one once at our destination. In addition some airlines are starting to charge for checked bags. So we figured it was time to give this “one bag” thing a try.
As we were each allowed one carry-on bag and one personal item that gave us a total of 6 bags and whatever we were wearing.
How did it work out?
We went right up to the self check-in. Didn’t have to wait in long lines or for someone behind the desk to check-in our bags. Got through the security lines easily and quickly. Our bags were easy to travel with in the airports between flights and store in the overhead bins on the planes.
When we landed on the other side we breezed right past baggage claim (no waiting for our bags, no lost bags, and no broken wheel at the last minute!) and right onto a bus to the rental car. (No lugging luggage to the bus stop, onto the bus, off of the bus…)
On the return the same thing. No dropping someone off with the bags and then returning the car or lugging all the bags with you on a bus and then through the terminal.
I have to say that the idea at first was daunting. Is it possible for me to fit everything I might need into one bag and a purse? What about keeping an active 9 year old boy busy and in clean clothing? By paring it down to the NEEDS (and a few wants) it was.
After the ease of our last trip. The lack of luggage mishaps or losing time waiting. I have to say we’re now a ONE BAG ALL THE WAY family!
How did we do it?
Cargo Pants, vests, jackets, anything with pockets is a good clothing item for travel. It gives you an “extra hand” for things you might want without having to dig in a bag for it. Or to just hold a water bottle for a minute.
Get a carry-on bag that is SURE to fit in those small overhead compartments and a personal item bag that will fit in the seat in front of you. I don’t know how many people we saw trying to shove bags that were clearly too large for either and some ended up having to “check” their carry on. At a charge no less.
After culling what we WANTED to pack we we got our items down to what we DID pack: Trial sized personal items in a 1 quart size bag (If you don’t have trial sized items already as freebies or have your favorites in reusable containers, just buy them after you get there (or use the hotel’s) and save yourself the screening.), clothing for 2-3 days (you’re wearing one day’s set.), a laptop, and cables/chargers (a few toys, an inflatable pillow and a blanket – I don’t like using airline ones). And a ”personal item” bag that had our entertainment (games, books, magazines, MP3 players, etc) and snacks.
Layer your clothing on the bottom of your carry-on, cables and other items in a row on top of that, and put your heavier/bigger clothing in a layer over that. I put my laptop in a neoprene sleeve on the top of all that. You can pull the whole sleeve out and place it in the bin to be screened.
For a 5 day trip we imposed on family once to wash our laundry. If you’re not visiting family you could find a laundry mat, use the hotel facilities if they have them, or go all the way with sink washing and drying in your hotel. Think clothing that all goes well together and travels well. There are places that sell travel clothing, but unless you travel a lot probably not worth the investment.
I was very surprised that I didn’t miss anything I didn’t bring with us. Anything we might have needed we could get at a local Walgreens or Walmart. (So long as you’re traveling in the USA.) So it really was a lot less stress on the trip having one less thing to worry about and is something we’re going to be doing from now on. I highly suggest giving it a try.
What have you got to lose? Well, certainly not your luggage!
Links:
TSA: What to Know Before you go. Permitted and Prohibited items.
Onebag.com.
Airline Luggage Allowance Policies.
How to Prevent Lost Luggage and travel tips.
Unclaimed Baggage.
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Monday, September 29th, 2008
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Sunday, July 20th, 2008
You know it has been almost a decade since I’ve read up on the whole breastfeeding scene. What amazes me is that with all the time that has passed the lack of understanding that is still out there.
With as big as the Organic craze has gotten you have people who will shop at the natural foods store while pregnant, so baby has the best, but still have no qualms about giving their baby a bottle of formula. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Not only does it show a lack of understanding of the supply and demand nature of breastfeeding, but if organics are good enough for your unborn baby and yourself why isn’t it good enough once the baby is born? After all what is more organic than breastmilk? Human milk for human babies.
Yes, yes… “babies do just fine on formula,” but breastfed babies do so much better. It’s the optimum best you can give your baby. Who actually does the optimum and best these days? They say formula is good enough. No it’s not! Saying breastfed babies do better is saying Formula is the norm and breastfeeding is better. (See my rant: Breast is Norm – Bottle is inferior for list of reasons.)
We need to reset our meters as to what is normal. What is organic? What is the God given and natural way to feed a baby? How were babies fed before formula? Why Breast of course. Which means that Formula fed babies aren’t as healthy as breastfed ones. Formula fed babies have more problems than breastfed babies. Formula fed babies aren’t as smart as breastfed babies.
What if you can’t? From what I’ve seen over the past 10 years is that only a very small amount of women can’t breastfeed given the proper knowledge and support. I’ve seen women overcome amazing obstacles to breastfeed.
If you really are in that minority of those truly unable to breastfeed, then that is what Formula should be for. To feed babies who aren’t able to get breastmilk who would otherwise starve. It should be a substitute for when the natural process doesn’t work. It should NOT be the default choice.
My Pregnancy and Early Parenting page has some more links for Breastfeeding info.
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Monday, July 7th, 2008
Cases of Kill the Messenger:
I don’t like the message. Ignore the message. Kill the messenger.
I don’t like the messenger. Who cares about the message. Kill the messenger.
I like the message, but don’t like the messenger. Miss all further messages. Kill the messenger.
I like the message and this messenger best. Accept only these messages. Kill all other messengers.
I like this messenger. Who cares what the message is. Kill all other messengers.
Which category do you fall under?
There is of course the option to take the message as delivered. Study the merits of the message yourself. And who cares how tall or short the messenger is. What color clothing he is wearing. His shoe size. His tone of voice or eye color. After all, he is just the messenger…
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Friday, May 16th, 2008
The more I am around (the majority of) women the more I prefer the company of men. What do I mean by that? Most men. Those that have not been feminized by public schools, psychology, medication, overbearing mothers or controlling wives:
They say what they mean and mean what they say.
They don’t drop hints or expect you to read their minds. They say what they expect or want.
They don’t read extra meaning into the words you say. They accept them at face value.
They don’t get upset or offended just because someone holds a view contrary to their own. They don’t get angry just because you defend that view to them.
They don’t walk into a room, look every man over, and make sure they are the better dressed and better looking male in the room…and if they aren’t make sure their wife never leaves their side.
As far as I know, and I’ve been the only female in the group a lot of times, they don’t sit around eating chocolate and bashing the women in their lives.
And when you ask them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” They really mean NOTHING is wrong…
Women on the other hand:
Say things they really don’t mean. To be nice or mean.
They drop hints or expect men to read their minds. Then get upset when they do/get the wrong thing.
They read “hidden” agendas and remarks into anything and everything.
Get very offended if someone thinks things other than they do because that has to mean they think they are doing wrong. (Notice a trend of circular thinking here?)
They walk into a room and size up the competition.
I have never understood the habit of bonding over husband/men-in-general bashing that women do…
And when you ask a them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” you had better be prepared to do some major grovelling or sleep in the dog house…
Now I am a woman and I’m not saying I’m perfect at avoiding these female tendencies or that men are without faults, but men are much more enjoyable for me to deal with. I know where I stand with them. I never know where I stand with another woman. And that can change from moment to moment anyway…
I find most women don’t like me. If you’ve read this far you’re probably thinking did you expect them to?
I could care less about fashion, weddings, jewelry, and who is dating whom.
I share interests with men that upset many of them: Computers, games, cars, guns, knives, and Sci-Fi.
And probably the main one that tends to be the kicker is I am a Biblical wife. (See th end of my post for a listing of verses.) My husband is the head of our home. It is my duty to honour, respect, obey, and love my husband. His word is law and final in our home. I believe this to be our God given role and I perform my duty willingly to the utmost of my ability. For some reason this seems to irritate, irk, offend and make many women quite hostile to me.
A lot of wives want their husbands to love them. Work. Provide. Care. Share. Give of themselves like they are called to do. However when it comes to that submission thing…any excuse will do.
Our Duty as Christian wives to our husbands.
To love and obey them:
Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
To reverence them:
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
To be subject unto them:
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
1 Peter 3:1-2 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
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Tuesday, March 25th, 2008
I’ve heard it said of some people that “They are one broken leg away from bankruptcy.” and until recently I had no idea just how true that is of a lot of people.
I was watching TV the other afternoon. I saw this young couple and it was talking about their debts. Pretty typical types: College graduates still paying off their loans. With 2.5 kids properly spaced 2 years apart. Big house with 2 brand new cars.
Thousands of dollars in the red every month! I mean they were spending TWICE as much as they brought in per month! Just a hair’s breath away from a divorce and losing it all.
Seems crazy. How does something like that happen? Pretty easily and every day actually.
College Education: $20,000-100,000 x two people = $40,000-200,000.
Car(s): $12,000-30,000 each x two = $24,000-$60,000.
Housing: $60,000-500,000. (We are approved for X must mean we can afford it.)
First child: $5,000-10,000 in the first year alone.
Add in various living expenses/needs like: Bills, food, clothing and “frills” $500-1,000 a month x a year = $6,000-12,000.
Total $135,000-$782,000 – and that doesn’t include interest on loans – or the things like vacations, big screen tvs, ATVs, boats, brand name clothing, and what-have-you items that people need to keep up with the Joneses.
All this on a starting income of what? $30,000-50,000 a year. Plan on one income because even if both parents are working most of one income will go towards daycare and taxes or one parent might stay home with the children. It is no wonder that young couples are finding themselves owing more in a month than they earn.
What is the moral of all this? Don’t buy what you can’t afford. If you don’t have the cash for it… Guess what: You can’t afford it.
A College Education: can be had owing little to nothing. Get a job and work. Spend student loans only on college expenses. Think about it this is a loan you’re going to be paying off for the next 10-20 years of your life. Do you really want to pay interest for 20 years on those little things to make life easier at that moment?
Cars: Buy used/drive it till upkeep becomes more than it is worth to buy another used car. The minute you drive your new car off the lot the value drops. (See Buying a New Car vs Keeping an Old Car)
House: If you can’t afford to save some sort of down payment you can’t afford it. Sure you’re okay month to month, but what about when something big and expensive breaks? If you can’t put aside enough money for a down payment while renting you won’t have the money for the “home owner” projects that WILL come up and need fixing. (See How Much House Can You Afford)
Crown Financial has a pretty good Spending Plan Calculator Online.
Already in debt? Dave Ramsey’s “Baby Steps” to get out of it.
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