JaeByrd’s Nest

You know it has been almost a decade since I’ve read up on the whole breastfeeding scene. What amazes me is that with all the time that has passed the lack of understanding that is still out there.

With as big as the Organic craze has gotten you have people who will shop at the natural foods store while pregnant, so baby has the best, but still have no qualms about giving their baby a bottle of formula. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

Not only does it show a lack of understanding of the supply and demand nature of breastfeeding, but if organics are good enough for your unborn baby and yourself why isn’t it good enough once the baby is born? After all what is more organic than breastmilk? Human milk for human babies.

Yes, yes… “babies do just fine on formula,” but breastfed babies do so much better. It’s the optimum best you can give your baby. Who actually does the optimum and best these days? They say formula is good enough. No it’s not! Saying breastfed babies do better is saying Formula is the norm and breastfeeding is better. (See my rant: Breast is Norm - Bottle is inferior for list of reasons.)

We need to reset our meters as to what is normal. What is organic? What is the God given and natural way to feed a baby? How were babies fed before formula? Why Breast of course. Which means that Formula fed babies aren’t as healthy as breastfed ones. Formula fed babies have more problems than breastfed babies. Formula fed babies aren’t as smart as breastfed babies.

What if you can’t? From what I’ve seen over the past 10 years is that only a very small amount of women can’t breastfeed given the proper knowledge and support. I’ve seen women overcome amazing obstacles to breastfeed.

If you really are in that minority of those truly unable to breastfeed, then that is what Formula should be for. To feed babies who aren’t able to get breastmilk who would otherwise starve. It should be a substitute for when the natural process doesn’t work. It should NOT be the default choice.

My Pregnancy and Early Parenting page has some more links for Breastfeeding info.

Cases of Kill the Messenger:

I don’t like the message. Ignore the message. Kill the messenger.
I don’t like the messenger. Who cares about the message. Kill the messenger.
I like the message, but don’t like the messenger. Miss all further messages. Kill the messenger.
I like the message and this messenger best. Accept only these messages. Kill all other messengers.
I like this messenger. Who cares what the message is. Kill all other messengers.

Which category do you fall under?

There is of course the option to take the message as delivered. Study the merits of the message yourself. And who cares how tall or short the messenger is. What color clothing he is wearing. His shoe size. His tone of voice or eye color. After all, he is just the messenger…

The more I am around (the majority of) women the more I prefer the company of men. What do I mean by that? Most men. Those that have not been feminized by public schools, psychology, medication, overbearing mothers or controlling wives:  

They say what they mean and mean what they say.
They don’t drop hints or expect you to read their minds. They say what they expect or want.
They don’t read extra meaning into the words you say. They accept them at face value.
They don’t get upset or offended just because someone holds a view contrary to their own. They don’t get angry just because you defend that view to them.
They don’t walk into a room, look every man over, and make sure they are the better dressed and better looking male in the room…and if they aren’t make sure their wife never leaves their side.
As far as I know, and I’ve been the only female in the group a lot of times, they don’t sit around eating chocolate and bashing the women in their lives.

And when you ask them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” They really mean NOTHING is wrong…

Women on the other hand:
Say things they really don’t mean. To be nice or mean.
They drop hints or expect men to read their minds. Then get upset when they do/get the wrong thing.
They read “hidden” agendas and remarks into anything and everything.
Get very offended if someone thinks things other than they do because that has to mean they think they are doing wrong. (Notice a trend of circular thinking here?) 
They walk into a room and size up the competition.
I have never understood the habit of bonding over husband/men-in-general bashing that women do…

And when you ask a them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” you had better be prepared to do some major grovelling or sleep in the dog house…

Now I am a woman and I’m not saying I’m perfect at avoiding these female tendencies or that men are without faults, but men are much more enjoyable for me to deal with. I know where I stand with them. I never know where I stand with another woman. And that can change from moment to moment anyway…

I find most women don’t like me. If you’ve read this far you’re probably thinking did you expect them to?

I could care less about fashion, weddings, jewelry, and who is dating whom.
I share interests with men that upset many of them: Computers, games, cars, guns, knives, and Sci-Fi.

And probably the main one that tends to be the kicker is I am a Biblical wife. (See th end of my post for a listing of verses.) My husband is the head of our home. It is my duty to honour, respect, obey, and love my husband. His word is law and final in our home. I believe this to be our God given role and I perform my duty willingly to the utmost of my ability. For some reason this seems to irritate, irk, offend and make many women quite hostile to me.

A lot of wives want their husbands to love them. Work. Provide. Care. Share. Give of themselves like they are called to do. However when it comes to that submission thing…any excuse will do.

 Our Duty as Christian wives to our husbands.

To love and obey them:
Titus 2:4-5  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

To reverence them: 
Ephesians 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

To be subject unto them:
Ephesians 5:22-23  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Colossians 3:18-19  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Peter 3:1-2  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

I’ve heard it said of some people that “They are one broken leg away from bankruptcy.”  and until recently I had no idea just how true that is of a lot of people.

I was watching TV the other afternoon. I saw this young couple and it was talking about their debts. Pretty typical types: College graduates still paying off their loans. With 2.5 kids properly spaced 2 years apart. Big house with 2 brand new cars.

Thousands of dollars in the red every month! I mean they were spending TWICE as much as they brought in per month! Just a hair’s breath away from a divorce and losing it all.

Seems crazy. How does something like that happen? Pretty easily and every day actually.

College Education: $20,000-100,000 x two people = $40,000-200,000.
Car(s): $12,000-30,000 each x two = $24,000-$60,000. 
Housing: $60,000-500,000. (We are approved for X must mean we can afford it.)
First child: $5,000-10,000 in the first year alone.
Add in various living expenses/needs like: Bills, food, clothing and “frills” $500-1,000 a month x a year = $6,000-12,000.

Total $135,000-$782,000 - and that doesn’t include interest on loans - or the things like vacations, big screen tvs, ATVs, boats, brand name clothing, and what-have-you items that people need to keep up with the Joneses.

All this on a starting income of what? $30,000-50,000 a year. Plan on one income because even if both parents are working most of one income will go towards daycare and taxes or one parent might stay home with the children.  It is no wonder that young couples are finding themselves owing more in a month than they earn.

What is the moral of all this? Don’t buy what you can’t afford. If you don’t have the cash for it… Guess what: You can’t afford it.

A College Education: can be had owing little to nothing. Get a job and work. Spend student loans only on college expenses. Think about it this is a loan you’re going to be paying off for the next 10-20 years of your life. Do you really want to pay interest for 20 years on those little things to make life easier at that moment?

Cars: Buy used/drive it till upkeep becomes more than it is worth to buy another used car. The minute you drive your new car off the lot the value drops. (See Buying a New Car vs Keeping an Old Car)

House: If you can’t afford to save some sort of down payment you can’t afford it. Sure you’re okay month to month, but what about when something big and expensive breaks? If you can’t put aside enough money for a down payment while renting you won’t have the money for the “home owner” projects that WILL come up and need fixing. (See How Much House Can You Afford)

 Crown Financial has a pretty good Spending Plan Calculator Online.
Already in debt? Dave Ramsey’s “Baby Steps” to get out of it.

Found an interesting article on DrLaura.com today while looking for something else:
Nine Things to Consider Before you Decide to be a Parent

“Do you realize that most people become parents without thoroughly discussing how each was raised and how you intend/fantasize/desire to raise your child? |
They just assume, “It’ll work once the kid is here.”

I find this to be so true.

 Most don’t consider or talk about what roles they want to fill, or assume the other will fill, in parenting. How they will parent. If they SHOULD or even CAN parent. I find myself amazed when all of a sudden something about religion or discipline comes up and parents are left there thinking… “Wow. I had no idea we were on opposite sides of the spectrum. What now?”

Most seem to just have some vague idea, based off popular consensus, of what they might do and figure it will iron itself out later. If your standards and morals are at all important to you, and therefore passing that on to your child, I would think you’d consider and talk about that BEFORE bringing that child into the world…

Better yet, when choosing your future mate.

I see babies raising babies, while friends are waiting in adoption lines, and it bothers me. Do these kids even think about the long term? What is best for the baby?

Having and raising a baby isn’t something to be taken lightly. It is physically, emotionally, and financially draining. It ain’t easy. It is not all cute cuddly fun. And it doesn’t come cheap.

Financially: How Much Does it Cost to Have a Baby? On average around $9000-$11,000. For the first YEAR.  Life in the Fast Lane Breaks it down a little more on an item by item basis. That is just the first year. You’ve got at least another 17 after that.

No more trips. No more designer clothing. No more a lot of things. You brought a life into the world you need to take care of that life before what makes YOU happy. Oh, I’ll just work to offset the cost? Quality Day Care will cost you almost as much as you make. If you’re very young, probably more. So all of that on Dad’s income flipping burgers?

Emotionally: Are you really prepared for getting up all night, changing diapers all the time, not having time to hang out with friends or at parties because you need to take care of your baby? For crying jags that last for hours? For putting aside your wants and even some needs for the sake of what the baby needs?

Physically: That body is going for a ride. You will never be the same as you once were. Those first few months are draining. Sleep deprivation is quite normal. Yet, you have responsibilities as a parent and that comes before just sleeping like you want to.

Are you really prepared for that? Are you willing to give up what you want for what is best for the baby? Are you expecting/assuming the grandparents are going to shoulder the burden? They already did their responsibility and raised their kids. Now you want them to take on YOUR responsibilities? Think about it…

Having a baby can be a wonderful, rewarding, joyful, blessing. When brought into a mature, loving, committed, stable, 2 parent Marriage. One that is willing and able to make the sacrifices needed to raise a healthy contributing member of society. Is that what you’re giving your child?

Parenting Lessons Don’t Stop Toddler Tantrums

They compared a group of mothers and children that went through a “Parent training programme” with a group that didn’t. At the end of 2 years:

“….  there was no significant difference in the level of behaviour problems in the children, or in the mental health of the mothers.”

I think that just about says it all.

We were going out to dinner the other night and saw a group of young women wearing shirts that said: Love, Luck, Health & Wealth. They were having a bridal shower. Never mind the irony of Health handing Luck a cigarette. It got me to thinking…This is what marriage is about these days? It is no wonder we have a divorce rate as high as we do.

Love? Love is a feeling that is largely dictated by your actions. Lust is what most people these days mean when they say “We’re in Love.” Where is the commitment? To making it work even when you’re having one of those not so loving seasons? It reminds me of someone I knew who vowed “So long as we both shall Love.” When they weren’t feeling it anymore they stopped being married and moved on to the next Love…

Luck? I’ve never liked the word luck because it implies things just happen. I’ve been told so often how lucky I am to have a well behaved child. To have a good husband. So on and so forth on so many things. Yes, I have been blessed by God with a wonderful son and husband. I don’t consider that luck. God was gracious in his providing and plan.  But it has also taken WORK. I am blessed with my son for the miracle he is. The good behavior doesn’t just happen. It comes from consistency, from both of us, in teaching good manners.  I was blessed with finding  a man of good character whom I married and he makes a wonderful husband. Together we work on having a good marriage. Luck is for rolling the dice in board games not in choosing a mate, making a marriage work, or the behavior of a child.

Health? I suppose I can see wishing someone good health, but it is “In Sickness and in Health” that we take a spouse for. We want to be healthy. Which takes work. What we eat and how we spend our time has an effect on our health.  Sometimes you learn and bond more through the times of Sickness than of Health. In addition Sickness can often be a way of showing how God works miracles in our lives.  

Wealth? I’m sure most of us could use a bit more $ to get by… but Wealth? I’ve seen the rich. I don’t want that. Shelter, food, clothing, are meeting needs. Wealth is something else altogether. But you know, meeting your needs and being good stewards with what you are given is also work and again not just something that happens to you. Getting to a good place financially takes discipline, WORK, perseverance, and denying yourself. You might not like your job, but you have to work to keep the lights on, food on the table, a roof over your head and shoes on your feet. Unless you have a rich relative Wealth is not something that generally just happens.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is things don’t just happen you have to Work to make them Happen. Marriage is NOT something to be entered into lightly thinking things will be all roses and warm fluffy clouds. In Love, Luck, Health & Wealth there are aspects of your own personal work and sacrifice that goes into making it Good.

I’ll leave you with what I always tell any couple that is getting married:

Ralph Waldo Emerson in a journal entry writes:

Love is temporary and ends with marriage. Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought. Marriage is a good known only to the parties, — a relation of perfect understanding, aid, contentment, possession of themselves and of the world, — which dwarfs love to green fruit.

They never understand it and say, “Haha love ends at marriage.” but to the few who work, and grow, and ripen to the point where they get it they understand that Marriage is so much more and better than mere Love…

With Fall here and Winter around the corner we got to thinking about our little friends. We like to watch the birds interact with each other while eating.  

Our favorite and super easy bird feeder is to take Pine Cones, coat them with Peanut Butter, roll them in Bird Seed, and hang them up with String. We did several of these last winter and they were quite the hit with our little feathered friends. 

Milk Jug Bird Feeder:
http://www.rosebudm.com/bluebird/mjug.htm
This is a fun, quick, inexpensive, and easy project that will invite lots of birds to your yard.

Here are some more bird feeder plans:
http://www.freeww.com/birdfeeders.html

And of course you can always buy any number of bird feeder kits that can be found in various stores. Here is one particular site I found with some and easy nice kits:
 http://www.birds-n-garden.com/gifts_for_children_kits.html

Keep an eye out at Lowes and Home Depot they usually offer FREE Kids Workshops on the weekends. I’ve seen a bird feeder listed as one of the items they make.

Happy Bird watching!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just taking a moment before the day gets going.

Here is a very nifty DIY git courtesy of Passionate Users: http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/7274546

Alright. Theres my moment. Off to start cooking and eating.