Rebekah Staggs

I am not a fan of the, “Turn around and Greet your Neighbors.” portion of Sunday Morning Services. You sing a few songs and then you go around shaking as many hands as you can during one verse. If you’re really fast you can make 10-12 “five-second friendships” before the next verse starts and everyone returns to their seats.

I don’t understand what this round of furious handshaking is suppose to accomplish. There isn’t enough time for more than a simple short sentence and a couple of pumps up and down before moving on to the next person. You don’t get to know the person and I don’t feel they get to know anything about me. It feels perfunctory and obligatory.

For someone with Arthritis the handshaking can be painful. For someone with a weakened immune system this ensures they get the best possible exposure to as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time so they can be sure to catch the latest cold/flu making the rounds in the church. For those who have social anxiety issues it’s the quickest route to insuring they feel “over-welcomed” and don’t want to come back.

Until a few decades ago the rules of etiquette dictated that it was considered impolite (and forward) for a man to hold out his hand to a woman to shake it.  If the woman did not hold out her hand, he was just to speak to her and not attempt to shake hands. As a lady if you ever shake the hand of a southern born and raised church going gentleman in his 70s and you’ll see this in action.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not against the shaking of hands. I shake hands. I even hug my friends that I am close to that are huggers. I do these things when *I* want to and the body language of the other person seems to say they find it acceptable. I am against the initiation of physical contact when I am forced to return the action or come off as rude and unfriendly. I am uncomfortable with people intruding into my personal space uninvited.

As I am unlikely to change the normal social greeting of what seems to be every church in our area these are my choices:

• I can give in and just shake the hands I can’t avoid
• I can insist upon my personal boundaries being respected
• I can simply ignore the hands being thrust at me
• I can wear my wrist brace in the hopes that others won’t attempt to shake my hand
• I can carry my Bible or another object in my hand showing they are too occupied to shake hands and hope people understand the message I’m trying to get across
• I can hide out in the restroom until it is safe to return to my seat

Large amounts of sanitizer might help with the other issues involved with shaking hands in Church…

Interesting link on some cultural differences including shaking hands: Cultural Gestures.