JaeByrd’s Nest

You know it has been almost a decade since I’ve read up on the whole breastfeeding scene. What amazes me is that with all the time that has passed the lack of understanding that is still out there.

With as big as the Organic craze has gotten you have people who will shop at the natural foods store while pregnant, so baby has the best, but still have no qualms about giving their baby a bottle of formula. It doesn’t make any sense to me.

Not only does it show a lack of understanding of the supply and demand nature of breastfeeding, but if organics are good enough for your unborn baby and yourself why isn’t it good enough once the baby is born? After all what is more organic than breastmilk? Human milk for human babies.

Yes, yes… “babies do just fine on formula,” but breastfed babies do so much better. It’s the optimum best you can give your baby. Who actually does the optimum and best these days? They say formula is good enough. No it’s not! Saying breastfed babies do better is saying Formula is the norm and breastfeeding is better. (See my rant: Breast is Norm - Bottle is inferior for list of reasons.)

We need to reset our meters as to what is normal. What is organic? What is the God given and natural way to feed a baby? How were babies fed before formula? Why Breast of course. Which means that Formula fed babies aren’t as healthy as breastfed ones. Formula fed babies have more problems than breastfed babies. Formula fed babies aren’t as smart as breastfed babies.

What if you can’t? From what I’ve seen over the past 10 years is that only a very small amount of women can’t breastfeed given the proper knowledge and support. I’ve seen women overcome amazing obstacles to breastfeed.

If you really are in that minority of those truly unable to breastfeed, then that is what Formula should be for. To feed babies who aren’t able to get breastmilk who would otherwise starve. It should be a substitute for when the natural process doesn’t work. It should NOT be the default choice.

My Pregnancy and Early Parenting page has some more links for Breastfeeding info.

Cases of Kill the Messenger:

I don’t like the message. Ignore the message. Kill the messenger.
I don’t like the messenger. Who cares about the message. Kill the messenger.
I like the message, but don’t like the messenger. Miss all further messages. Kill the messenger.
I like the message and this messenger best. Accept only these messages. Kill all other messengers.
I like this messenger. Who cares what the message is. Kill all other messengers.

Which category do you fall under?

There is of course the option to take the message as delivered. Study the merits of the message yourself. And who cares how tall or short the messenger is. What color clothing he is wearing. His shoe size. His tone of voice or eye color. After all, he is just the messenger…

The more I am around (the majority of) women the more I prefer the company of men. What do I mean by that? Most men. Those that have not been feminized by public schools, psychology, medication, overbearing mothers or controlling wives:  

They say what they mean and mean what they say.
They don’t drop hints or expect you to read their minds. They say what they expect or want.
They don’t read extra meaning into the words you say. They accept them at face value.
They don’t get upset or offended just because someone holds a view contrary to their own. They don’t get angry just because you defend that view to them.
They don’t walk into a room, look every man over, and make sure they are the better dressed and better looking male in the room…and if they aren’t make sure their wife never leaves their side.
As far as I know, and I’ve been the only female in the group a lot of times, they don’t sit around eating chocolate and bashing the women in their lives.

And when you ask them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” They really mean NOTHING is wrong…

Women on the other hand:
Say things they really don’t mean. To be nice or mean.
They drop hints or expect men to read their minds. Then get upset when they do/get the wrong thing.
They read “hidden” agendas and remarks into anything and everything.
Get very offended if someone thinks things other than they do because that has to mean they think they are doing wrong. (Notice a trend of circular thinking here?) 
They walk into a room and size up the competition.
I have never understood the habit of bonding over husband/men-in-general bashing that women do…

And when you ask a them if something is wrong and they say, “Nothing.” you had better be prepared to do some major grovelling or sleep in the dog house…

Now I am a woman and I’m not saying I’m perfect at avoiding these female tendencies or that men are without faults, but men are much more enjoyable for me to deal with. I know where I stand with them. I never know where I stand with another woman. And that can change from moment to moment anyway…

I find most women don’t like me. If you’ve read this far you’re probably thinking did you expect them to?

I could care less about fashion, weddings, jewelry, and who is dating whom.
I share interests with men that upset many of them: Computers, games, cars, guns, knives, and Sci-Fi.

And probably the main one that tends to be the kicker is I am a Biblical wife. (See th end of my post for a listing of verses.) My husband is the head of our home. It is my duty to honour, respect, obey, and love my husband. His word is law and final in our home. I believe this to be our God given role and I perform my duty willingly to the utmost of my ability. For some reason this seems to irritate, irk, offend and make many women quite hostile to me.

A lot of wives want their husbands to love them. Work. Provide. Care. Share. Give of themselves like they are called to do. However when it comes to that submission thing…any excuse will do.

 Our Duty as Christian wives to our husbands.

To love and obey them:
Titus 2:4-5  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

To reverence them: 
Ephesians 5:33  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

To be subject unto them:
Ephesians 5:22-23  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Colossians 3:18-19  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Peter 3:1-2  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

To my mother who is a Biblical example of what a Mother should be.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

To my mother-in-law who gave birth to the child that grew up to be my amazing and wonderful husband.

To my many friends (and other women) who have adopted or are waiting to adopt.

To the foster mothers who love and care for children between homes.

To the birth mothers who love their child enough to give him/her up so he/she can be raised in a loving and stable two parent family.

To the mothers who are pregnant on this day.

To the mothers who are, “My kid’s Mom.”

To the ”mothers” that “mother” the children of others.

To the widower being both Father and Mother to his child(ren).

To those for whom this day also brings sadness-
The mother who is waiting to miscarry.
The mother who has miscarried.
The mother who has lost a child at any age.
The women who are grieving a lost mother.

And to the many, many women who greet this day with empty arms and aching hearts.

Happy Mother’s Day.

My husband just wrote a great article I just had to share.

College: Who needs it?

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Every man should have a college education in order to show him how little the thing is really worth. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My guys took me out to see a movie in April. Our first one all year: The Forbidden Kingdom. 

It is PG-13. I recall hearing a couple of swear words in the whole movie and featured drinking. (Drunken Monkey style.)

It is The Karate Kid meets The Wizard of Oz, meets The Neverending Story, meets Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Which you would think was an odd mix,  but it worked and fun to watch It has very nice martial arts eye candy. A “Kick Flick” to say the least. The fight scenes were a nice mix of martial arts with fun magic wire work thrown in.

Jackie Chan, who just turned 54 on the 7th of April, still does amazing scenes that are funny and Jet Li, who just turned 45 on the 26th of April, is still super fast.

It’s a your basic boy with bullies on an adventure/learning martial arts growing into manhood type of story. It was a funny, cute, pretty clean story and we really enjoyed it. I love the training sessions because it is so cliche (cause it’s a lot of what we do), but they add some funny comedy to it too.

It was a fun sit back, relax and enjoy the story for 113 minutes.

Consider how muscle growth and strength comes from pushing the muscles, breaking down, destroying and rebuilding. So it is with other things in life.

Where does our peace come from? Are we promised life be easy? Who has overcome the world? Why in today’s world do WE try to overcome the world and expect life to be trouble free?

Just look at all the things Paul went through…

How did he deal with it? What did he learn through it?

I find that most issues with “depression” come from having an unrealistic view of how people THINK things should be. (Part of this is comparison to others…) And what people think they deserve/want.

Another unrealistic view that seems to add to this is that God is a “genie in a bottle” granting our wishes and prayers. He promises what we NEED, “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,”.

This includes the various trials and valleys that we go through. If God is giving them to us for a reason then we need to learn from it… and grow from it…not wallow in it … and not medicate it away.

When we go through trials praising God and clinging to his word that is an example to others. Others see this and who knows maybe those others are the part of the reason you were blessed with this trial.

I’ve heard it said of some people that “They are one broken leg away from bankruptcy.”  and until recently I had no idea just how true that is of a lot of people.

I was watching TV the other afternoon. I saw this young couple and it was talking about their debts. Pretty typical types: College graduates still paying off their loans. With 2.5 kids properly spaced 2 years apart. Big house with 2 brand new cars.

Thousands of dollars in the red every month! I mean they were spending TWICE as much as they brought in per month! Just a hair’s breath away from a divorce and losing it all.

Seems crazy. How does something like that happen? Pretty easily and every day actually.

College Education: $20,000-100,000 x two people = $40,000-200,000.
Car(s): $12,000-30,000 each x two = $24,000-$60,000. 
Housing: $60,000-500,000. (We are approved for X must mean we can afford it.)
First child: $5,000-10,000 in the first year alone.
Add in various living expenses/needs like: Bills, food, clothing and “frills” $500-1,000 a month x a year = $6,000-12,000.

Total $135,000-$782,000 - and that doesn’t include interest on loans - or the things like vacations, big screen tvs, ATVs, boats, brand name clothing, and what-have-you items that people need to keep up with the Joneses.

All this on a starting income of what? $30,000-50,000 a year. Plan on one income because even if both parents are working most of one income will go towards daycare and taxes or one parent might stay home with the children.  It is no wonder that young couples are finding themselves owing more in a month than they earn.

What is the moral of all this? Don’t buy what you can’t afford. If you don’t have the cash for it… Guess what: You can’t afford it.

A College Education: can be had owing little to nothing. Get a job and work. Spend student loans only on college expenses. Think about it this is a loan you’re going to be paying off for the next 10-20 years of your life. Do you really want to pay interest for 20 years on those little things to make life easier at that moment?

Cars: Buy used/drive it till upkeep becomes more than it is worth to buy another used car. The minute you drive your new car off the lot the value drops. (See Buying a New Car vs Keeping an Old Car)

House: If you can’t afford to save some sort of down payment you can’t afford it. Sure you’re okay month to month, but what about when something big and expensive breaks? If you can’t put aside enough money for a down payment while renting you won’t have the money for the “home owner” projects that WILL come up and need fixing. (See How Much House Can You Afford)

 Crown Financial has a pretty good Spending Plan Calculator Online.
Already in debt? Dave Ramsey’s “Baby Steps” to get out of it.

Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November;
All the rest have thirty-one
Save February, she alone
Hath eight days and a score
Til leap year gives her one day more.

This year is a Leap Year which makes February 29th 2008 a very special day.

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/leapyear.html WHY we have Leap Years.
http://www.leapzine.com/FactsandTrivia.htm all about Leap Babies and Birthdays.
http://marriage.about.com/cs/holidays/a/leapyear.htm Traditionally Leap Year was the one day when women were allowed to propose and men had to pay a fine (a kiss, a dress, or a pair of gloves.) if they refused.

Enjoy your “extra” day.

Okay, I am sure there are a few responsible parents and kids out there with those wheeled shoes that use them in a safe manner, I even know a couple of them, but honestly what is up with the rest of the parents and kids?

I saw enough on the health and safety issues concerning them to want to by pass them all together. If I want my kid to skate around I’ll get him a skateboard, scooter, or skates and make sure he does it while wearing a helmet and safety pads. If you want to gamble on your child’s ability to stay safe while wearing these things that is your business, but not when their usage is a safety issue for others.

Why do you think it is okay for your kids to “skate” around the stores and malls with these things? Granted they are banned a lot of places, but that doesn’t seem to stop anyone. You wouldn’t let your kids ride their bike, scooter, skateboard, Rollerblades/rollarskates in the store what makes you think Heelys are okay? You see your kid barely missing people and yet you do NOTHING!

I’m constantly dodging these little punks and brats everywhere I go. I saw at least 4 going up and down the isles in maybe 40 minutes of shopping. And those are just the ones that I dodged. Parents right behind them oblivious of the accident waiting to happen that is their child on wheels.

Every time I see a kid go skating past me I want to stick out my leg and trip them. I really do. Then I want to go over and slap their parent on the head. If you’re going to be in a crowded place make them pop the wheels out and give it to you at the least. If you can’t take responsibility for your own child’s behavior and usage of them then DON’T buy them for them!

Be the parent: Take responsibility, teach them courtesy, or make a stand.