Rebekah Staggs

Between my broken upper oven, slowly dieing lower oven, current aversion to raw meat, and just not feeling up to the back breaking labor of putting out the full Thanksgiving Spread this year I gave in. For the first time in the 17 Thanksgivings we’ve been together I bought everything pre-made.

When we first got married we lived near family and we spread the work out among the family members and meals moved from one sibling’s house to another’s. We haven’t bought a can of Cranberry Relish in twelve years since I first made it fresh. It’s been at least seven years since we moved and I starting making the whole spread myself. Usually taking two days of on my feet prep, cooking, and baking.

This year’s spread was pretty good.  Curtesy of Sam’s Club and Walmart. The only work I had to do was open boxes and move pans in and out of the oven. Thankfully while my lower oven doesn’t work well for baking/cooking it works well enough for heating things up. I spent yesterday with my family playing games, watching TV, and otherwise just resting and taking it easy. Today my family helped in the kitchen, we’re playing more games, we plan on watching the Football game together, and otherwise just hanging out and taking it easy.

It has been a very memorable Thanksgiving and sometimes store bought and not from scratch isn’t a bad thing. This year with so much to be thankful for it hit home that it’s not about the food, but about the memories we make around the table. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

As part of my twelve year old’s summer wishes we went to a water park. These are a few of the thoughts I had while there…

• Sunblock!
• Why am I up here and what do I do with my slippers now?
• Once I push off there is no going back.
• Must. Sit. Up. Can’t.
• Hold on to my slippers. Hold on to my slippers…
• Your mother lets you dress (or undress) like that?
• So hungry.
• What were you thinking when you got THAT tattooed on you?
• Floating.
• Wow, that’s a teen pregnancy waiting to happen.
• Floating.
• Must not smash the little brat that just hit me in the face with his tube.
• Floating.
• An actual Swim DRESS. Cool. Kudos to you!
• Floating.
• I wonder what that tattoo was before pregnancy and weight gain took it for a ride?
• Sunblock!
• Okay, I’ll slide again. This time I’ll sit up. Can’t stay sitting up!
• Seriously? Six shooters tattooed on your shoulder blades?
• So hungry.
• Hot feet. Hot feet!
• Ice Cream!
• Melting.
• And that boys and girls is what happens when you push people out of the way and run up the stairs…
• When did body piercings become the majority of young females AND males?
• Thirsty, hot, and hungry again.
• Ow. I’m getting too old for this kind of thing.

I am not a fan of the, “Turn around and Greet your Neighbors.” portion of Sunday Morning Services. You sing a few songs and then you go around shaking as many hands as you can during one verse. If you’re really fast you can make 10-12 “five-second friendships” before the next verse starts and everyone returns to their seats.

I don’t understand what this round of furious handshaking is suppose to accomplish. There isn’t enough time for more than a simple short sentence and a couple of pumps up and down before moving on to the next person. You don’t get to know the person and I don’t feel they get to know anything about me. It feels perfunctory and obligatory.

For someone with Arthritis the handshaking can be painful. For someone with a weakened immune system this ensures they get the best possible exposure to as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time so they can be sure to catch the latest cold/flu making the rounds in the church. For those who have social anxiety issues it’s the quickest route to insuring they feel “over-welcomed” and don’t want to come back.

Until a few decades ago the rules of etiquette dictated that it was considered impolite (and forward) for a man to hold out his hand to a woman to shake it.  If the woman did not hold out her hand, he was just to speak to her and not attempt to shake hands. As a lady if you ever shake the hand of a southern born and raised church going gentleman in his 70s and you’ll see this in action.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m not against the shaking of hands. I shake hands. I even hug my friends that I am close to that are huggers. I do these things when *I* want to and the body language of the other person seems to say they find it acceptable. I am against the initiation of physical contact when I am forced to return the action or come off as rude and unfriendly. I am uncomfortable with people intruding into my personal space uninvited.

As I am unlikely to change the normal social greeting of what seems to be every church in our area these are my choices:

• I can give in and just shake the hands I can’t avoid
• I can insist upon my personal boundaries being respected
• I can simply ignore the hands being thrust at me
• I can wear my wrist brace in the hopes that others won’t attempt to shake my hand
• I can carry my Bible or another object in my hand showing they are too occupied to shake hands and hope people understand the message I’m trying to get across
• I can hide out in the restroom until it is safe to return to my seat

Large amounts of sanitizer might help with the other issues involved with shaking hands in Church…

Interesting link on some cultural differences including shaking hands: Cultural Gestures.

Genesis 25:21  And Isaac intreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren: and the LORD was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

1 Peter 3:7  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Psalms 112:1  Praise ye the LORD. Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments.

Proverbs 20:6  Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?